The holidays can be stressful during even the best of times, but for people
who are in the middle of a divorce or who have recently had their divorce
finalized, the holidays can be an incredibly difficult time. Holiday traditions
you may have had in the past may no longer be a part of your plans. You
may not be spending time with the same people, or spending time away from
your children. With so many changes, it can be hard to get into the holiday
spirit or feel like celebrating. While it is normal to feel this way,
you should know that there are still plenty of ways to enjoy the season.
Remember that divorce isn’t the end – it can be a great opportunity
for a new beginning.
As we head into the holiday season, consider these tips:
Take things one day at a time. From the time you toss your pumpkin after Halloween to the first day
of the New Year, be sure to take things one day – and one holiday
– at a time. Don’t overwhelm yourself!
Be patient. Trying to plan for the holidays can be stressful, and can be even more
so when you are already dealing with the emotional effects of a divorce.
Remember to be patient with those around you and especially yourself.
Don’t exhaust yourself trying to live up to past holidays –
try to relax and take things as they come.
Be cooperative. If you have children, do your best to be cooperative with your ex-spouse
when determining how you plan to share your time with the kids. Remember
to make your children’s happiness a top priority and avoid any unnecessary
fighting that could put a damper on their holiday.
Create new holiday traditions. The traditions that you held as a married person will likely differ from
those you enjoy as a single person. That’s okay! Make the holiday
your own and enjoy the process of coming up with your own unique way to
Spend time with others. While it may be tempting to spend the holidays on your own, it is important
to try to spend time with family and friends. Some alone time may be beneficial,
but even more beneficial is the love and support you can receive from
those who care about you. You may also wish to consider donating some
of your time to help other people, such as volunteering at your local
Dealing with a divorce during the holidays can be a challenge, but it is
also a valuable learning experience that will make you a stronger person
in the end.
Have questions about divorce in Oregon? Looking for assistance with a
parenting plan, a modification, or another family law matter? We encourage
you to contact a Portland divorce lawyer at McKinley Irvin for assistance
with your divorce and family law matters. Our Portland office can be reached at