Prioritize Your Children
How can I help my children before the divorce?
Try not to let your marital issues or impending divorce affect your relationship with your children or your spouse’s relationship with them. This is best for your children, and will help you when determining custody. If you are seeking custody of your children, you will need to show the Oregon divorce court that you consistently have your children’s best interests in mind and that you will facilitate your children’s relationship with their other parent. Demonstrating these two things gives you the best chance at a favorable parenting plan.
If you have minor children, whether you are the mother or father, make sure to give them your full attention before and during divorce. Your children may have many questions and fears as they observe parental conflict and separation. You can support your children by being attentive and present in their lives. Also, try not to argue with your spouse in front of your children.
Try to continue your children’s routines as much as possible, especially once you separate from your spouse. Reassure your children that both of their parents love them and will both continue in their lives. There are many resources out there, both for children and for adults, which discuss what children need to know about divorce and how you can help them through the process.
Should I change my parenting?
If you have not taken an active parenting role before, you may want to do so now, especially if you want the Oregon divorce court to award you substantial parenting time. Learn your children’s daily routines and develop relationships with their caregivers. This will help you during the divorce if custody is disputed and the judge needs to see your parenting abilities. It will also prepare you for your future role as a single parent.
Again, there are numerous guidebooks about single parenting and parenting styles. If you want good parenting advice, it’s out there.