5 Tips to Make Your Divorce Easier
Nobody wants to deal with a difficult divorce, and if there is any way you can make the process simpler, quicker, and less argumentative, you should certainly try. Going through a divorce is stressful and can be a very emotional process. Even if you are happy to be getting a divorce, you might still be dealing with lingering feelings of love, loss, or resentment. Whatever you’re going through, the last thing you need is trouble on the legal side of things.
If you’re going through a divorce, try following these five tips to help make the process easier on you and your family.
1. Be Prepared
As with most things in life, it pays to be prepared. Each step in the divorce process will present its own challenges, and if you do your part to get ready for what you’re about to face, it can make the entire process much less daunting, and you can avoid unwanted surprises. There are several things you can do to get a leg up. Before you file for divorce, do your research. This can include learning about Oregon divorce state laws and other divorce information, but most importantly should include discussing your situation with a lawyer. You may want to consult with more than one attorney and find the right representation for your situation. If there are complexities involved (like a family business, high-asset investments or other complex assets, or parentage issues, for instance), you should seek out an attorney with plenty of experience with cases involving those issue.
Also, make sure you have the documents and papers you need throughout each stage of the process. At the beginning stages, gather important financial documents, copies of the marriage certificate, your children’s birth certificates, tax forms, property deeds, and so on. If you file for restraining orders or other documents, make sure everything is filed on time and keep copies of every form.
Divorce is also a time to consider reducing or stopping your usage of social media and other digital communications. Things you say on Facebook or in texts can possibly be used against you in a divorce, so you should be cautious with your communications with and about your spouse.
2. Talk to Your Lawyer
You hired an attorney for a reason, so make sure you use their legal services to the fullest extent. Doing your own research can be extremely helpful, but you should also discuss any concerns or questions with your lawyer and be completely honest with your attorney about the situation with your spouse, finances, children, etc. Ask your attorney what you can do to make the process smoother and find out what you can expect during each stage of your divorce.
3. Know What You Want
Far too many people go into their divorce thinking about how to “win” or get back at their spouse. Divorce is not about winning, it’s about ending your marriage and starting a new chapter of your life. The decisions you make in a divorce will greatly affect the next five to ten years of your life. So, before you get caught up in the competition of it all, think about what you really want from your divorce and what you’ll want when all is said and done. In particular, consider what assets and properties you wish to keep, know what you’d be willing to compromise on, and plan out how you’d like child custody, child support, and spousal support to work out. Most importantly, make sure your attorney is aware of your goals.
4. Prioritize Your Kids
If you have children, make sure you prioritize their emotions and feelings. Each child copes differently depending on their personality, the nature of the divorce, and their age. Keep an eye out for any changes in behavior and make sure your child knows that you are there for anything they need. Communicate openly with them and invite them to share their feelings with you, or consider hiring a therapist to help them cope with all of the new changes. Also, if things do get contentious between you and your spouse, keep your children out of it.
5. Take Care of Yourself
The divorce process can be extremely overwhelming, so make sure you’re taking care of yourself amid all of the chaos. Take time to start up a new or forgotten hobby, spend an evening with supportive family members and friends, and consider hiring a therapist if you feel you might benefit from the added help.
If you are dealing with a difficult divorce, our firm is here to help. We can work with you to develop a reliable legal plan and we can provide you with the guidance and advice you need.Contact McKinley Irvin at our Oregon office to meet with our divorce lawyers.