Family Vacations After Divorce: Yes or No?
Is it normal or healthy for ex-spouses to vacation together as a family for the sake of the children? Recent buzz on social media seems to indicate that post-divorce family vacations might be becoming a trend. However, while some divorced parents may be able to make this work, it may not be the best idea for others. With the holidays approaching, this is a topic that many divorced parents are having to consider as they attempt to make plans to visit friends and family.
Here’s what you should consider before making a decision:
- It may be confusing for your kids. It can be difficult for a child, especially a young one, to understand why their mom and dad seem to get along well enough to vacation together, but can’t live together. This may cause them confusion and may give them false hope that their parents will get back together. Older kids may have less trouble with this, but unless enough time has passed, it can still be a source of confusion. If you do plan on taking a family vacation after a divorce, it may be a good idea to wait until the divorce is no longer fresh and your child has had some time to mature.
- It may resurrect unresolved feelings. It can be difficult to spend time with someone that you divorced for a reason. Does seeing your ex make you sad or angry? Are you hoping that a family vacation will help you win back your ex for whom you may still have feelings? If a family vacation is likely to cause unresolved feelings to resurface with your kids along for the ride, it is probably not worth pursuing.
- It may block your own personal progress. Divorce is hard, and moving on can be even harder. While you may think that you’re doing your child a favor, spending a lot of time around your ex can cause more harm than good. You should remember that your feelings and your personal growth and healing are important, too.